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Thursday, November 6, 2014

Now here's the milllion dollar question...

"When are ya'll going to start trying for kids?"
I can honestly say I've already heard this question a few times, and even a couple more times before Hunter and I got married. I know that some couples become offended that people would ask such a question - oh the blasphemy! Honestly though, Hunter and I just laugh and love the fact that people are wanting to see some mini-me's of us. God bless your souls for wanting a Kelly #2. I kid...
But in all honesty, the question does make us think. Of course we talked extensively before marriage about kids - how many do we want? Where will we raise them? What schools will we send them to? How do we want to have kids?
To kind of start answering those questions, Hunter and I know for a fact that we do not want to expand our family with little minions anytime soon. Call us crazy, but we really want to be married for awhile. Just the 2 of us. There are certain things that we want to accomplish before we bring a child into the mix because hey, it's pretty life-changing from what I've heard. I've had a couple of people say, "Oh you'll change your mind as soon as you get married and you'll want them right away."
Nope, still haven't changed my mind. I don't care how many of my friends are getting pregnant and having babies; Hunter and I are in this for us and not others.
Then that question comes along: "What if you can't bear children?" My answer to that: Ain't nothin' but a thang. See here's why....
Hunter and I want to adopt.
Yes, we will certainly try to have kids of our own but we are beyond adamant about adopting and growing our family with a child or children from all over the world. We've actually even started the process with researching information for 2 specific countries that we would like to adopt from. And call it a God moment, but about the time we want to start trying to expand our family is actually the time we can legally start the adoption process.
We haven't decided yet if we want to adopt first or try to have kids first. There are certain age limits that your other children (if you have them) need to be in order to adopt. Honestly, we'll leave that decision up to God because He knows more than we're ever capable of knowing. If we're in the position to adopt first, then we will. And the same goes for having a biological child.
Adoption has always been very near and dear to my heart. For those who don't know, my sister was adopted from China when she was just 10 months old. I've heard people who have never adopted before make statements that it's just not the same. You are so sorely, sorely mistaken my friend. The instant I saw my sister, I loved her just as much as I love my 2 biological brothers. No questions at all. She is my sister regardless of skin color, DNA make-up, different momma and daddy. She is my sister in Christ.
So I guess at the end of all of this, mine and Hunter's plans to expand our little family in the future may be different from what other folks would envision. And that's okay! In the meantime though, we'll just keep giggling and smiling when people ask us about kids. And we'll keep dreaming of the day that we can someday become a momma and a daddy.
If you have any questions about my adoption experience with my sister, please do not hesitate to shoot me an email. I absolutely LOVE talking about it!


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  1. Oh how I can relate my friend haha. We aren't in any hurry either. And we definitely have a huge hope that adoption will be in our future as well!

  2. While Chris and I are for sure open to adoption and will adopt if we can't get pregnant - I find it extremely painful not being able to get pregnant. I am glad that you will be okay with if it doesn't work out for you! I wouldn't want anyone to go through the pain of not being able to pregnant when it's something they really want.

  3. Love that you have a heart for adoption!! So exciting!

  4. My little brother is adopted and I just spent the weekend writing 4000 words about the process and how it's changed my life. There's never been a question in my mind about how adoptive and biological relationships would weigh against each other... I guess because love isn't an act of comparison, but is about inclusion.

  5. Umm, so yes please, can we talk?! I know that I want to adopt as well, but I'm less sure about having my own. I've viewed it as, why make more children when so many already exist that are in desperate need of a loving home? My cousin adopted from China as well and I have been so inspired by their journey. I haven't started looking into it yet myself because I'm scared that as soon as I start learning more, I won't be able to wait, so I'm holding off till we're in a better spot to be able to take a child in. But I'm super curious about your line, "the time we can legally start the adoption process." Does that mean you can't now? Why? May I pry?

  6. awesome to read this! we started the adoption process after being married for only six months. I was most worried about what people would think, because I recognize it's not "normal." thankfully, I'm learning a lot about my freedom in Christ! I think our friends and family fully accept and understand we probably won't be taking a normal route to anything in the future now :)