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Friday, November 21, 2014

That little swallow

Sage

Or rubber ducky as Hunter so affectionately calls it... Love you too honey. Ha! Today, I'm so excited to be joining in with Cassie and Kaitlin to talk about ink.

I got my tattoo when I was 22 years old and after going through some really difficult times in my life. Some people know about the general situation of my previous relationship: with the guy for 4.5 years, engaged to him for a majority of that time, we were financially tied in every imaginable way (stupid on my part, I know). Thank you GOD for saving me from that mess!
 
What most people don't know is the deep depression I went through in the last 1.5 years of that relationship. I can honestly say that I didn't love him anymore, who he was, or the situation I was in in those last several months. I didn't even love myself. You may ask, "Why did you stick around that long??" I honestly couldn't tell you except I had thought I could change him, the situation, the pain. When I realized I couldn't and that the situation was slowly killing me, I began to develop an exit strategy. You would have to understand the situation and person I was with to know what I mean by exit strategy. In lament terms, I had to be sure that I could leave without any chances of my return to the relationship, and without him having any chance of taking me back.
 
Fast forward to December of 2010, I was able to walk away from that mess forever. God brought me back to the realization (and physically to my knees while sobbing my eyes out) that I did not need to subject myself to that abuse, the lies, and the pain that were inflicted upon me. I was worth something so much more. That late night in December forever changed my life.
 
I had always said, "I don't want to get just any tattoo just because I want a tattoo." With my newfound freedom, I knew what I wanted: a tattoo that would forever mark my body, that would remind me of the strength I found that night, and the love of the freedom I have in Christ. It's a very, very simple tattoo with not much detail at all.

And it's perfect.
 
I don't plan on adding to it, and I don't think I ever will. I love what it represents to me: the simplicity and complexity of it all is in one single piece of artwork. I really wrestled with the idea of having it shown during our wedding. I was torn because I wasn't sure what people would think of it - not that I'm ashamed of it at all! But you know how some people can be, they judge the book by the cover before they ever hear the story behind that cover.
 
In the end, I decided that not only was this mine and Hunter's big day, but this tattoo represents a part of me that makes up my life story. It represents the woman I became subsequently following that night. And it's for damn sure part of the woman that Hunter fell in love with.
 
Do ya'll have any tattoos that you just love? Or hate? I always love talking about tattoos with people - the stories behind them are always fascinating to me!

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12 comments:

  1. I love this! I went through a similar time in my life and God definitely saved me. Love sparrows!

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  2. Your tattoo is beautiful and the story of strength behind it only makes it even more lovely!

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  3. You are a strong woman and your tattoo represents the growth and transformation you went through--it's lovely, just like you!

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  4. I admire your strength and growth. What an absolutely beautiful tattoo and reason behind it.

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  5. I love that about tattoos, how they can hold such meaning and be so therapeutic in helping us move on from troubled times. And I LOVE bird tattoos. I have a bunch of my own that I would love to write about, but my family is super against tattoos, so I got all mine secretly and still, at almost 30, continue to hide them...so yeah.

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  6. oh tears!!! I just LOVE this! I want a tattoo but I can never think of anything (design wise) I love for more than a few months ahha

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  7. This is amazing. Love the story behind your ink, friend. I shared about my swallow tattoo as well :)

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  8. Wow, Great Story! I am such a sucker for the good stories behind tattoos!!

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  9. I got a claddagh tattoo at the end of a bad relationship to remind myself of what I wanted in a REAL relationship. The claddagh is a symbol of love, friendship and loyalty. Beautiful. I have another one and I'm planning a third but that's my first and favorite. I loved your story! I'm so glad I stumbled on this link-up.

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  10. I love the story behind the tattoo. So incredibly touching! Thank you for sharing.

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  11. This story is so incredible and I loved getting to read about it. Thank you for sharing your story!!

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