Reflections

As I sit here and think about all the things that need to be done to prep for moving, all the projects that need to be accomplished (eventually), and all the money that will go into getting myself re-established... I can't help but be overwhelmed. My biggest worry everyday is money, as it is for many of you. You wonder, "Will I have enough to pay for these bills? Can we make it to the end of the month? Will I make it at all?"

These thoughts and questions are swirling through my head like a vicious tide pool and all while that is going on, I can't help but to stop and think, "I'll be okay. My God is in the driver's seat." Isn't it such a comforting feeling knowing that you have Someone that loves you so stinkin much, that He won't let you fall if you place your trust in Him? That alone, makes everything okay.

I always say God's got a great sense of humor. For example, I can always tell that as soon as I start to fret, try to take control, and jump back in the driver's seat of my life... Things get worse! When I remind myself that I need to let it go, let it be, and let God continue to drive... The skies open up and all is good in the life of Kelly.

Once I've calmed down and my hysteria is over, I like to remind myself on the fact that even through my hardest and darkest times in the past, I survived. I am here because my God pulled me through those times. Family and friends helped, but God saved me from myself. When I remind myself that I am here today, it puts my focus back on the goal because I can so clearly see that I made it before. What makes me think I can't do it now?!

My go-to song the last few days has been "Oceans" by Hillsong United. The lyrics and message in this song are so beyond moving, peaceful, and fulfilling to a worried soul. If you have strife and struggles in your life, and you feel like you have nowhere left to turn, turn to God. He has loved you, loves you now, and will ALWAYS love you.

I'm not saying that turning to God will make life easy-peezy-lemon-squeazy, and that you won't have problems anymore if you turn to God. What I'm saying is that by turning to God, you have a rock solid foundation to fall on when you cannot carry on any further. His grace and mercy abound, and His presence in my life is soothing. I know I'll have struggles everyday; I know that I will probably cry out in frustrations many times; I know that I will fail. But my gosh do I know that my God will be there to hold me, love me, and surround me.

And that makes all the struggles, strifes, tears, and pain worth it. Just to be nearer my God.

"I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours, and You are mine..."