As Easter is coming, the sweet old hymn of "Rugged Cross" is on repeat in my head. As a woman of faith, that cross represents so much to me -- the hope and joy I experience every single day is because the Son of God chose to hang from that old rugged cross and die for me and my sins. But He didn't do it just for me. No, he did it for everyone.
Have a shared my story with you? Not my story of marriage or becoming a mom. Or the story of how I'm a sister to 3 younger siblings. Not the story of my dearest friendships or work life. No, this is my story of redemption and continual restoration day in and day out.
I was the kid that took my family to church. My mom will totally agree with this statement. I loved getting dressed up and going to the church I grew up in, looking at the stained glass cross at the front of the church and hearing about a man named Jesus. As I stepped into my teenage years, I walked through the confirmation process because, honestly, it's what I thought I had to do. Looking back now, I see that my head was in it but heart wasn't there and I had not been discipled properly to fully understand the weight of my decision (discipleship will be a whole 'nother platform I'll preach on someday).
So, I did that and became involved in youth group. I loved the friendships, the trips, feeling like I belonged to a group. Unfortunately, I was an inch deep and a mile wide in my faith. When I hit 18 years old and college, I ran fast and hard from church and my faith. I became wrapped up in a relationship that was nowhere near God-honoring or healthy. Towards the end of that relationship, God began removing those scales back from my eyes and leading me towards Him. Ultimately, I left the relationship and began chasing after Him again. I'll be honest, it was a very slow start and it wasn't entirely successful every day. But thank God for grace, amen?
Here's the thing about my faith and all that it is - it absolutely does not mean I have it all together, or that I don't struggle with things (hello anxiety, lack of patience, sour mouth, etc.). But because I have surrendered and said, "God, you're bigger than me. You're the only one that can change me," I have a hope and joy that is unexplainable. The finite problems of this world don't weigh me down anymore, and the fact that I know when I take my last breath on this earth, I will take my next breath standing before my Maker. How incredible is that? Do you believe in that?
Let's say I'm wrong for a minute, and all this Jesus stuff I believed in the majority of my life was just a bunch of story-telling. All that means is at the end of the day, I end up in the ground just like you and that's that. But what if I'm right, and all this Jesus stuff is legit? My life after my last breath, after that comma, will continue and be in a beautiful place called Heaven and I won't know suffering there, I won't have tears, and I will be with my Savior who died on that rugged cross for me. As for the one who didn't believe in this Jesus stuff, after their last breath and after their comma, their life will continue but we won't be together in Heaven. And that wrecks my soul in unimaginable ways.
So, I tell you all of this because of a great quote by an atheist I once heard - "How much do I have to hate you to not share with you the greatest hope and joy I have?"
I don't hate you but more than anything, I want you to know that there is hope and joy and peace and all of that even in the midst of suffering and struggle. Does my faith make bad things not happen to me? Absolutely not. But it makes going through the hard things easier because at the end of the day, this isn't my final home and this isn't where my hope lies. My hope lies in the one that hung on that old rugged cross.
"So I'll cherish the old rugged cross
'Til my trophies at last I lay down.
I will cling to the old rugged cross
And exchange it someday for a crown."
**If after reading this you have questions, please message me, text me, call me, send me a smoke signal. I will never ever shame you for asking questions, and I welcome the really hard questions that challenge my faith. I love you, but Jesus loves you more and you deserve to know Him.**
