Love the hastag :-p #we'rerealjackedup Haha! Truth! Thanks for being so transparent, Kelly! It's such a legit struggle and something I've struggled with in the past too. Because of there being sin in the world, the church will never be perfect until Christ returns and that's tough. I'm so glad that you do have a good small group and I want you to know that you encourage me always and your my sister in Christ :) I am praying for you and Hunter, my friend! Love ya!
This is why I often find beautifully appointed churches a real help. When a place has been built with the words "all for the greater glory of God" in mind, I can get a real sense the Lord being there. This makes me want to be worthy of Him and helps me take the barriers from around my heart.
One of my theology professors shared a beautiful quote in class: "Find a perfect church if you will, and on the day you join it, realize it just became less perfect." I got a healthy dose of perspective that day! But I agree, church is hard for so many different reasons, many of which you listed. I think God honors our wrestling and I believe it is that wrestling which ultimately brings us to beautiful perspective regarding the body of Christ.
I'm sorry I missed this when you posted it! Oh friend, I adore your honesty and willingness to be exactly who you are in this space. I struggle with that myself. I *want* to feel like I belong at church, but I have a hard time connecting when I get distracted by all of those things too. It's not a nice feeling and it's not something I want to remain. Ah who am I kidding, there is soooo much work to be done in my own walk with God, church is only a small part of it really. But I love the points you make there, of what God is telling you to all of your concerns with the church body. I am taking those to heart myself!!