{Pieces}

Life tends to move at a wicked speed, as we have already all established together and agreed upon. Life can throw curve balls and changes that you may or may not have seen coming from left field. Life can leave you feeling like the world has taken and taken and taken, and you stand there with only your empty scarred palms held open. Life can make you feel like the world around you is falling to pieces, and all you can do is watch them scatter away.

Life can be like that sometimes. 

Days can be hard and moments can be rough, but clinging to the promise that God is who He says He is, it's the only way I can make it through each and every hard day or moment. Bringing my worries and cares, my chipped urn before Him, with my empty scarred palms held open is all He wants. The daily surrender of Your will, not mine. Your ways, not mine. Your plans, not mine. Your strength, not mine. I'm thankful that God has allowed me to be on His team. I'm thankful that God has called me His own, and He never grows tired of me coming to Him (even if it's about the same ole thang because let's be honest, processing things take time).

I know so many folks that go through each day as it comes without knowing the all surpassing peace that Jesus provides. And I say this not to be demeaning in any way, but because it's an honest question - How? How do you go through the hard without Him? I know I'm not strong enough to do any of this life without Him (believe me, I've tried!). More days than not, I'd rather just throw in the towel and say, "God, beam me up!" 

But to live is Christ, to die is gain as Paul says in Philippians. So I'm choosing to trust that God is who He says He is. I'm going to heed to the godly advice from a man (Paul) who's life was radically changed in physical and spiritual ways, because he must've been onto something when he was given this wisdom. To know Jesus is to know love.

So then, if to live is Christ then we must choose the hard and walk through it with Hope and Grace, because of His strength. That means choosing to wake up and have the hard conversations with your spouse. That means choosing to fight for your marriage. That means choosing to raise your child in the way you should. That means loving on the difficult neighbor or co-worker. That means choosing to be real and authentic with people while showing them the mercy of Jesus in your life.

Mamas, friends, loved ones - choose the hard in every day life. Even when it feels like the immediate inner sphere around you in slipping away piece by piece. Know that God is still holding on to you so tightly, and will never let you go.

"When the night is holding on to me,

God is holding on.

When the night is holding on to me,

God is holding on...."

That Old {Rugged} Cross

Let's talk about that old rugged cross and what it means to me.

As Easter is coming, the sweet old hymn of "Rugged Cross" is on repeat in my head. As a woman of faith, that cross represents so much to me -- the hope and joy I experience every single day is because the Son of God chose to hang from that old rugged cross and die for me and my sins. But He didn't do it just for me. No, he did it for everyone. 

Have a shared my story with you? Not my story of marriage or becoming a mom. Or the story of how I'm a sister to 3 younger siblings. Not the story of my dearest friendships or work life. No, this is my story of redemption and continual restoration day in and day out.

I was the kid that took my family to church. My mom will totally agree with this statement. I loved getting dressed up and going to the church I grew up in, looking at the stained glass cross at the front of the church and hearing about a man named Jesus. As I stepped into my teenage years, I walked through the confirmation process because, honestly, it's what I thought I had to do. Looking back now, I see that my head was in it but heart wasn't there and I had not been discipled properly to fully understand the weight of my decision (discipleship will be a whole 'nother platform I'll preach on someday).

So, I did that and became involved in youth group. I loved the friendships, the trips, feeling like I belonged to a group. Unfortunately, I was an inch deep and a mile wide in my faith. When I hit 18 years old and college, I ran fast and hard from church and my faith. I became wrapped up in a relationship that was nowhere near God-honoring or healthy. Towards the end of that relationship, God began removing those scales back from my eyes and leading me towards Him. Ultimately, I left the relationship and began chasing after Him again. I'll be honest, it was a very slow start and it wasn't entirely successful every day. But thank God for grace, amen?

Here's the thing about my faith and all that it is - it absolutely does not mean I have it all together, or that I don't struggle with things (hello anxiety, lack of patience, sour mouth, etc.). But because I have surrendered and said, "God, you're bigger than me. You're the only one that can change me," I have a hope and joy that is unexplainable. The finite problems of this world don't weigh me down anymore, and the fact that I know when I take my last breath on this earth, I will take my next breath standing before my Maker. How incredible is that? Do you believe in that?

Let's say I'm wrong for a minute, and all this Jesus stuff I believed in the majority of my life was just a bunch of story-telling. All that means is at the end of the day, I end up in the ground just like you and that's that. But what if I'm right, and all this Jesus stuff is legit? My life after my last breath, after that comma, will continue and be in a beautiful place called Heaven and I won't know suffering there, I won't have tears, and I will be with my Savior who died on that rugged cross for me. As for the one who didn't believe in this Jesus stuff, after their last breath and after their comma, their life will continue but we won't be together in Heaven. And that wrecks my soul in unimaginable ways. 

So, I tell you all of this because of a great quote by an atheist I once heard - "How much do I have to hate you to not share with you the greatest hope and joy I have?" 

I don't hate you but more than anything, I want you to know that there is hope and joy and peace and all of that even in the midst of suffering and struggle. Does my faith make bad things not happen to me? Absolutely not. But it makes going through the hard things easier because at the end of the day, this isn't my final home and this isn't where my hope lies. My hope lies in the one that hung on that old rugged cross.

"So I'll cherish the old rugged cross

'Til my trophies at last I lay down.

I will cling to the old rugged cross

And exchange it someday for a crown."

**If after reading this you have questions, please message me, text me, call me, send me a smoke signal. I will never ever shame you for asking questions, and I welcome the really hard questions that challenge my faith. I love you, but Jesus loves you more and you deserve to know Him.**

Blueberry Muffins {and} Bible Reading Musings

There is nothing like a homemade southern blueberry muffin, complete with the crunchy topping. It just exemplifies the southern way of life when it comes to eating -- we don't skip out on the good stuff, folks. Blueberry muffins and anything with peaches in it. Let me stop while I'm ahead because man, my mouth is watering.

Now that we've established all that is right and holy with the blueberry muffins, let's move on to some Bible reading musings. I'm going to be totally honest here, is that alright with ya'll? 

I have always struggled with my Bible reading.

Like, always always. I have over the years admired the women in my life who can wake up before the sun rises, prepare their coffee and breakfast for the day (if they're a true southern woman, it's a blueberry muffin with crunchy topping, amen??), and dive into God's Word. And then they're able to go about their day and radiate the love of Christ to all they interact with. Very much the Proverbs 31 type gal.

Then there's me... 

I would set my alarm earlier, threaten myself before falling asleep that if I didn't wake up so-help-me-God, only to hit snooze and sleep in. Then of course, I'm rushing around like a mad woman with her britches bunched in a wad and just chastising the very existence of my soul for not waking up when I should have. Then the guilt sets in, you read a couple quick verses because "it's the right thing" (no, it's not, not if your heart is not in the right place), and go on about my day. What a travesty. Also, for those that are muttering, "Well she can do her Bible reading before bed." No, no she cannot. Because as soon as my body goes horizontal, my eyes close. Believe me when I say I've tried!

BUT. There is always victory in Jesus. 

I began a Bible reading plan through my Bible app and I thought to myself, "Okay, let's just read this. Let's dive into God's Word and READ it. Read it word for word as I would a novel." Again, let's be honest... Old habits die hard. But GOD. New habits can be formed with time, and perseverance, and patience, and the Spirit moving in you when you allow, and coffee, and blueberry muffins as snacks. The start was hard, I will not lie. But as I continued to press on toward the goal, I truly began to fall in love with the words before me. The stories and the reminders of God's faithfulness no matter what. Thank goodness for Jesus and His love for us!

My goal is to read the Bible entirely. I want to read the stories, psalms, passages, and love letters that my sweet Father intended for me. Once I have read through the Bible entirely, then I will go back through and dissect it piece by piece because for me, the stories will be familiar and I can say, "Oh! This is when this happened." Just as Jesus becomes familiar to me each and every day in my sanctification process, His Word will be like an old familiar friend when I read it. As a Christ follower, how can I NOT know my faith intimately? That would be like standing at the altar with Hunter making a vow to love and cherish... Only to turn, walk away, and hardly know the man. What is the point?? If I can do it, you can do it too. 

Thank you, Lord, for your Word filled to the brim with love and grace. And thank you for blueberry muffins.

Home {is} Where the Heart Is

Having a kid in the house ensures that every holiday will be celebrated to some degree. So of course, on St. Patrick's Day, I knew I wanted to create a fun meal and dessert for his ever-growing appetite. Shepherd's Pie with biscuits and homemade strawberry preserves was on the menu, followed by a "Lucky Leprechaun" dessert dirt cup. He was confused about the Shepherd's Pie but loved the green pudding and smashed Oreo's. You win some, you lose some. HA!

As I looked back on the picture I took of his little dessert cup before he devoured it, the sign in the background caught my eye... {HOME}

As a southern woman, I pride myself of creating a beautiful home. Complete with all the snackys, variety of drinks to offer, and cute pillows to adorn my couch. Because us southern women know that if we don't offer someone a drink the minute they walk into our homes and a comfy spot to land their toosh, we've committed the most atrocious cardinal sin as a proper southern lady, and our grandmothers would be rolling in their graves. God rest their souls.

As a Christ follower, the home front though carries a much deeper meaning. I strive to have my home represent a sanctuary for the weary who carry the burden of the world on their shoulders each day. My home should reflect the comfort and stability that Christ brings to our lives, to anyone that walks through our doors. But most importantly, I pray that my home is a place where anyone who comes will know without a shadow of doubt that they are loved not only by us, but more so by the Lover of their soul.

Lord, let the walls of my house carry Your name through them.

Taking {Stock}

Before we became parents, someone once told me that "the days are long but the years are short." Maybe for you friend, but for me? The days are short and the years are even shorter... How is that even possible??

Time flies when you're having fun, I presume.

Let's take stock of where we each are at today at the end of another week. How are you physically? Mentally? Spiritually? The hustle and bustle and every day grind can distract us from staying connected to our internal thermometer. We can become so busy just trying to keep up that before we know it, we're wondering why the internal cup is drained empty and how do we fill it back up. 

As a wife and mama, we wear many hats. Caregiver, chauffeur, chef, maid, lover, friend, employee, and the list goes on. We spend our entire day being needed by someone and exerting every bit of the best we have to offer to meet those needs. I hear you mama - it's a lot some days! But take heart and hear me when I say this...

... You're an incredible wife. You are a good mama to those babes. You're raising small humans to one day be strong like you and enter the world in which we live to thrive. As a sister in Christ, you're discipling and leading and guiding the small heart towards the Lord. You're doing big things, mama...

So if you find yourself overworked, exhausted, feeling defeated, or just tired of the routine - know that you are loved, cherished, and what you are doing matters. You are valued and appreciated. You truly are wonder woman. And rest in this - find your identity first as a daughter of God. From this, everything else will flow.

Daughter of God...

...

Wife striving to live the Proverbs 31 life...

...

Mama to littles that adore you...

...

Faithful friend to so many around you...

...

And so on.

Keep waking up, keep discipling, keep loving because the work you are doing now is making waves in the lives of those you impact. Find rest this weekend and refill your cup, mamas!

Here {I Am}, Send Me

Talk about knocking the dust off this 'ole here blog! I became swept up in reading all of the old posts, seeing God's faithfulness through the lens of being on the other side, and quietly thanking Him for new mercies every single day. Can I get an amen?!

The last post to grace the feed of this blog was August 2, 2017. My mind was instantly taken back to where we were in our adventures during that time....

... Miscarriage and infertility...

... Should we start the adoption process now or wait...

... Hunter's dad had been diagnosed with cancer...

Tears instantly prick the backs of my eyes because, MAN, those were some hard days. Shoot, months. Heck, let's go with years. So hard that I in fact decided to walk away from blogging. The writing, the story-telling, the sharing of Hope and Joy because other things needed my attention in those moments. One of the greatest followers of my blog and avid readers was Hunter's dad. It is because of him that I have decided to come back here today and resume my passion of writing, but more importantly, writing to glorify God.

In a world that is so dark and loud and evil, we are called to be light to others around us, to share the message of Hope and Joy and Peace, regardless of the humanly suffering we may face. 

So, a bit of an update if you will...

... Miscarriage and infertility are still part of our story. And it's a beautiful one. The women (and men) that we have been fortunate enough to meet and walk alongside in their journeys, in ministering to them, has been indescribably humbling and joyful.

... We started the adoption process May 2018. We waited 3.5 years to bring the most precious little boy home, and the journey for that is something I will absolutely be sharing in this space. His adoption story is a testimony at just how utterly amazing God is. We also want to encourage other families in their adoption process and to bring a sense of community for them.

... Hunter's daddy went to be with Jesus on May 20, 2019. His long-suffering and battle with cancer may have won on this side of heaven, but his heavenly healing ultimately won. Praise God for that! I see Ros every single day in his son, Hunter. From his laugh to his kindness to his sassy attitude, Hunter exemplifies his father. Ros would've loved his grandson.

Many more adventures have begun between now and then, and others have ended. Through it all, our eyes have been on the One who has held us up. No matter where God has us on this journey, our response to His callings strive to be, "Here I am, send me." Sometimes easier said, than done. But nevertheless, let it be me, God. 

Ros, I'm picking up the "pen" to begin writing again. This is for you.

Facing {MY} Giants

There was so much great information that was touched on during our time at camp. The main focus or theme of camp was CONVERGENCE - choosing one path or the other with the hopes that you would choose the path that converges your life with God's. One particular night, the pastor was speaking on sin and how you can try to overcome your repetitive sin, or the sin that you repeat constantly. For me, that was a nasty tongue. Whether it be bad language (I know, I know ya'll) or belittling someone else, I've known for a long time it all needs to stop.

But it's so dadgum hard to break a habit.

So the pastor brought up the idea of facing your giants head on. In essence, when you pray and ask God to forgive you of your sins, don't just skip flippantly right over that part. Instead, NAME your sins out. What a gross taste that put in my mouth?! Having to say, "God, I'm sorry for belittling {name}. Can you help me to turn away from that. God, I'm sorry for saying the words I said. I know they hurt you." Hearing myself say those sins out loud and really looking them in the eyes has pretty much nipped that in the butt from happening again. Granted, I will still struggle, but I have become much more aware of what I say.

And then the pastor said to take it a step further. Write down your top three sins you struggle with daily. The ones that you don't even realize you're doing in that moment until the moment has passed. Once you've written them down, keep them somewhere where you KNOW you will look at it throughout the day. For me, that's my planner. Ya'll... you will realize how quickly you are starting those sins in the day. It's a nice little wake up call when you have a way to hold yourself accountable.

So I want to challenge each of ya'll today - what little or big sins are struggling with that are keeping you at a distance from God? Own those giants, look them in the eyes, and say, "My God is stronger than you" and let's knock them out together. Know that you're not alone in your every day struggle to maintain a somewhat Christ-like lifestyle (I say somewhat because, honestly, we will never have the perfect Christ-like lifestyle). Love each of ya'll tremendously. Mean it!

It's been awhile since I first {SAW} you

My goodness folks! It's been about 1.5 months since I've even logged into this place and I'm blown away by the sheer fact that it's June already. As in summertime. As in OMG IT'S BEACH WEATHER. And we have plenty of beautiful beaches in the Panhandle of my home state.

 

Enough ramblings... What in the hay have ya'll been up to??

 

Life sort of took over in mine and Hunter's world. God has really been stretching and growing us (it's been painful, not gonna lie), we've experienced firsts and lasts, had our hearts broken and on the rebound, and just really have endured some of our wildest days yet.

 

we clean up pretty good...

Let's catch up...

 

- Hunter got a new job! He's still doing the same line of work {forestry} but he's now with the State so that means a little bit more normal hours. Hunter is currently working hard to become certified to fight wildfires (yes, it makes me nervous, but I'm super proud of him) so he'll be one of those guys that will be deployed when wildfires break out. Be sure to hug a forester today!
 

I seriously swoon over him every.dang.day (And this is during a burn)

 

- I survived sessions here in the Florida Legislature and I honestly learn something new every day. Hunter and I are very fortunate and thankful to have our careers and the ability to have a roof over our heads, food on our table, and a little extra spending money. We live simply but wouldn't have it any other way.

 

- Hunter and I have also been veeerrrrryyyy busy with Young Life in Tallahassee.  Don't know what Young Life is? CHECK IT OUT. I seriously wish I was a teenager or college student again JUST so I could do Young Life and the summer camps. We're actually in our down time right now since school is out but we're super excited for everything to kick back up come Fall. God has some really big plans with Young Life and we're excited to see where it grows to (we're looking at you Quincy, Florida).

 

- We've been dealing with some family illnesses in the last few months. This is where faith comes into play, people. Not knowing what is going to happen, not really understanding why someone you love so much has to get so sick, and not being able to heal them has really forced us to trust solely in God and His purpose. Yes, we don't understand things that happen but HE DOES. And His ways are always good (even when it totally sucks). Faith is having that hope and belief that everything is going to be okay regardless of the outcome.
 

My FIL is literally the best.

For you non-southerners... Sug (n): a term of endearment (pronounced "shoog")

 

- We recently had to put one of our pups down. I won't go into reasons and I'm not quite ready to dive into that topic {and probably won't on the interwebs}, but I can honestly say it was one of the hardest things I have ever done (Hunter will agree with me). I would not wish that decision on my worst enemy. Our hearts are still healing but we know we made the right decision. As bad as that hurt, we survived it and are learning from it. Don't want a pity party, just ask that ya'll continue to pray for us.

- My baby sister graduated high school!! I officially feel old as dirt, thank you very much. Fun fact for all you local folks - she's a photographer. And a dadgum good one at that. Feel free to check out her page on FB and contact her should you want any pictures done.
 

 

All in all, I feel like we've lived a lot of life in the last 6 months. We've rejoiced and jumped around wildly; other days, we've hit our knees begging God to take the pain away. But that's life and we wouldn't have it any other way. It's beautiful, ugly, wild, calm, and above all, it's ours to live. No matter what our circumstances are in that moment, we thank God and give Him all the glory for allowing us to experience those moments.

Losing Control

photo courtesy of my sister

 

I'm not sure if I've said it before but 2016 and 2017, hands down, take the gold in life lesson teachings. Between last year and the last couple of months, we've really been forced to reconcile with the cards that have been dealt to us and our families. We've also been forced to surrender all of our control to the One that controls everything.

 

Can I just admit for a quick second how painful this has been?

 

Over the last several months, God has slowly but surely chiseled away at everything that I held high above Him. And a lot of that was because of the control issues I had. I fully believed that I could control many situations; I may not have said it out loud, but I certainly told God to take a back seat because I'm driving. What a joke.

 

God has so lovingly held me (and us, for that matter) through this process as He has chipped away our hard, exterior selves and this in turn has forced us to willingly surrender everything we have to Him. I'm talking about the wants and idols we had placed above and before Him. For me (let's be honest for a minute here), I had placed before Him my idolatry of wanting things done on my time, my way. I had placed Him behind those things because I felt that I could control those very things on my own.

 

If you can just imagine the wake up call that He gave me, times it by about 100. God showed me very quickly, and lovingly, how I had decided to take those reins back from Him and drive that buggy. I was in control of the very train that was wrecking my life. Comparison stole my joy, and the devil laughed at his accomplishment. The beauty of all of that though? God never left me. He never quit on me. He stood with me when I realized with utter embarrassment that I had allowed myself to become another pawn for the devil to undermine all of His work.

 

And that was when I lost control, giving it all over to Him. The weight of the world I was carrying left my shoulders in an instant and I could breathe deeper. Now I'm no fool and I know those temptations to regain control will creep back in (and it's already happening), but I also know my God is stronger than that. He will have His way with me, and my life, however He sees fit for His glory.

 

I've lost control. And I don't want it back.

Disciple NOW 2017 - {RENEW}

photo courtesy of fb

 

Goodness. Have you ever walked away from a weekend with your body so amazingly tired, but your spirit so full of life?? We spent this past weekend with several teenagers, adults, staffers, God-loving folks through our Disciple Now event that was held at our church. And it was EPIC.

 

For those who don't know, Hunter and I absolutely love teenagers. I know, weird. But we do and we love that God has called us to that ministry to be able to love on them, do life with them, and hopefully pass on some valuable life lessons. It's easy for folks to disregard teenagers as the "problem with our society" but I can honestly tell you from years of being around teenagers (and being one myself at one time), they are not the problem. Teenagers go through so many hormones, emotions, feelings, things... It's crazy.

 

Anywho, the weekend's focus was RENEWing your heart, mind, soul, strength and to surrender everything to God for His glory. There were so many Gospel-driven points discussed throughout the weekend but the one thing that stood out to me the most and I want to share with this bloggity blog was this:

 

This life is NOT about you. PERIOD.

 

I'm guilty of forgetting why I'm here day in and day out because let's be honest, life gets BUSY. Life gets hard sometimes and there are days where I'm like, "Let me just get through this day." But that's not how we should look at each day. I really would have to do several posts about all that was talked about this past weekend but I want to leave you with this.... Where is your heart with God right now? Is it even with God?

 

If you have any questions or need prayers, please don't hesitate to contact me. I'm one of those awkward people that will grab you and pray with you in the midst of everything going on around you. 

{GRACE} Alone

I mentioned last week that I've been journeying through the Bible and I'm currently in Leviticus. Ya'll, do not ever tell a new believer to start off in Leviticus - it'll drive them mad. But just like every other part of the Bible, it does serve a purpose and can be applied to our every day lives. My application?

 

Thank God for Jesus. Seriously.

 

If you haven't taken a journey through Leviticus, I encourage you to do it. Just listen to how many types of burnt offerings there are for different things (guilt, sin, etc.). The entire time I'm listening to it I can't help but think of how dead I would be if I lived during those times. That's probably why God knew I would be better off in the A.D. era and preferably with running water.

 

My God knows me too well.

 

 

But in all seriousness, I'm so grateful that God sent the {PERFECT} sacrifice that would fulfill all sacrifices and would keep us from having to perform those Old Testament sacrifices to atone for our sins. The fact that Jesus, so perfect and without blemish, willfully chose to die for my blemishes and imperfections is truly mind boggling. The beauty in my faith versus other religions? My God came TO me to save me, rather than me trying to do as many works as I can to GET TO Him (news flash: You will never be able to do enough good works to pay for all your sins).

 

So on this lovely Monday.... er Tuesday, just sit and meditate on the fact that you have the opportunity to live a completely saved life through Jesus' death on the cross and His subsequent resurrection. There's nothing I can do to EARN that grace and forgiveness - not works, not money, nothing of my own doings will get me any closer to Him. Just by believing in Him, trusting who He was and is, and resting in His assurance of His promises, that's what will get me into the gates of heaven. Live out your life as Jesus would; don't abuse the grace He has freely given to you.

 

I cannot wait to see His face one day and give Him the biggest hug EVER.

Christmas in a {CUP}

source

 

Just this morning I stopped by Starbucks on my way into work and decided to treat myself to a yummy Christmas drink - Grande Crème Brulee Frappuchino. Because who doesn't love Christmas in a cup, filled with lots of sugary goodness?? I have to say, the results of last night's election did make coming into work early, early this morning a tad bit easier.

 

I intentionally remain mum about my views on politics on the interwebs simply because of a couple of reasons: ONE being that I currently work in the Florida Legislature so I don't like to mix business with pleasure (I fully believe in keeping those things separate meaning work/politics doesn't and will not ever grace my personal life); TWO being people. My daddy always said one of the things you never talk about at the dinner table is politics because it can ruin a perfectly good meal.

 

So I've remained mum throughout this entire god-awful, mudslinging presidential race. I've watched as friends and family have torn each other apart, spewed foul words and hatred from their mouths, and I've been amazed daily by people and their actions. This blog post is the only thing you will hear from me about any of this mess on the interwebs and that's it. If you want to know where I stand on things, who I voted for, etc., feel free to contact me personally. I'm an open book and stand by my beliefs and convictions.

 

But I do want to address my brothers and sisters in Christ in this moment - I am disgusted and disappointed in many of you. Not all, but some of you resorted to total disrespect for others, their beliefs, their personal lifestyles, and then you went to church on Sunday and worshipped. Quite the oxymoron if I say so myself. I have many friends who I don't necessarily agree with on certain things but I would NEVER resort to name-calling, belittling, and/or judgement. Whether you were #trumptrain or #imwithher, I saw it from both sides.

 

Post-election, I'm now seeing brothers and sisters in Christ who are truly falling apart because THEIR candidate didn't get elected. My question and challenge to you is this - where is your faith at?? Who do you answer to at the end of the day and this life?? As far as I'm concerned, I answer to one Person and one Person alone. GOD. Regardless if Trump won or Clinton won, at the end of the day I answer to my MAKER and my purpose for being placed here at this time never changes. To my brothers and sisters in Christ who are literally acting as if the world has ended - Get a grip.

 

Harsh, much? Probably. But seriously. Your purpose that GOD has given you (not some man with a bad hairdo or a woman with ugly suits) has not changed. YOU were placed here to serve GOD, not the POTUS. Recognize that your life in fact isn't over and start praying for our nation, our people, for God's will to be done. Because at the end of the day, God is SOVEREIGN and nothing happens without His knowing.

 

Happy Wednesday, folks. Again, get a grip.

The {ICKY} stuff

 

I recently acquired a book from a friend of mine called "The Resolution for Women" by Priscilla Shirer (she's in the movie War Room) and within the first few pages, I knew it was going to be a tough book to get through. I'm not a feel good book/sermon type of gal. I like the nitty gritty, the honest and in-your-face kind of deals. The kind of conversations that leave you thirsting for more knowledge... The uncomfortable stuff I guess.

 

There was a point in the book I came to last night that just really resonated with me and I wanted to share it with ya'll:

 

"And with one final bite of the most eye-opening dessert date I may have ever had, I realized this feeling had a name: discontentment. He shows up at your doorstep just like mine, eager to step inside and make himself at home. But instead of only coming for short visits on rare occasions, he refuses to leave, spreading his baggage everywhere, filling up corners of your space that you thought you'd locked up to this odious intruder. He comes. He lingers. He robs you of your years. Then before you know it, you've missed out on the joys in the journey, the growth that comes from battling through the difficulties, the sweet and savory experience of creating the memories."

 

Uhm, can I get an amen and another slice of humble pie, puh-leeze?? More often than not, I'm always looking ahead. I'm naturally a planner - I want to know the when's, the where's, the who's. And so many times I've wasted away those moments of the here and now because I was so concerned with the next step or phase.

 

Let's take back our time and tell Mr. Discontentment "screw you" because in reality, we're only given this one life to live. As I've been nearing my 30th birthday, I've honestly been dreading it because again, Mr. Discontentment reminded me that I wasn't exactly where I envisioned I would be. But like I reminded myself (and told him to go pound sand), where I am is SOOOOO much better than I could've ever imagined. Yes, I'm still in debt to my student loans; yes, I don't have a kid yet (totally thought I'd be married with 1.5 kids by 25.... get a grip). But gosh darn it, I've got a man that loves the hell out of me, a beautiful little country home with 2 pups to drive me wild, family and friends that would die for me.

 

Take back your moments and embrace them for all that they are because it's your life to live, and no one else's.

{Prayerful} Life

 

I fully believe that there is power in prayer. Just the other day, a sweet friend of mine and I were talking about prayer requests. We were checking in with each other and just seeing how the other person is doing, if there is anything in their life or marriage that needs prayer. And I got to thinking about how easy it is to forget that praying really can do some wonderful things.

 

If we were to pray boldly, can you imagine the amazing works that could happen not only in our lives but others as well? I feel like we, as Christians, have stuck praying on the back burner and it's one of those things that we'll pull out when we really need something to work out for us. It's that calling card that's only used once a month (if that) just to see if that "genie" God can work His magic. Harsh? Maybe. True? Absolutely.

 

I want to encourage you to pray today and to pray with boldness, love, and a sense of friendship. How does any relationship/friendship work in this world? We talk to each other, call each other, text each other, send each other memes (this is life). So why is it so hard to talk to God the same way? Maybe because you can't see Him necessarily, or maybe because you feel like you can't hear Him.

 

Talk anyways. Pray anyways. Do it anyways. You'd be amazed at the change that would come about. Would it happen overnight? Probably not, but everything is in God's timing (it sucks, I know, but He is smarter than us). You say prayer doesn't work.... I say show me. 

Having {faith}

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A couple of weeks ago at my bible study, we were going around our small group (love my T group ladies - hey Jenn, Amber, and Deretha!) and sharing different characteristics or qualities we saw in each other. One of the sweet gals mentioned "faith" when it came to me and it completely struck me as odd because more times than not, I feel like my faith isn't strong.

 

Throughout these last few weeks, we've been having our house shown for potential renters. Now we're not nasty people by any stretch but it was dang hard work keeping our house tidy and ready to show at the drop of a hat. Add in 2 dogs and it's would be considered an adventure. During those times, I really struggled to have faith that all would work out. Especially after each showing would pass and we wouldn't have an application.

 

My sweet husband really is perfect for my soul and pride. He continuously kept reminding me to have faith, trust that God is working things out, it'll all be okay. My usual retort was to smile and say okay, all the while I'm running about 500 different scenarios in my head for when things don't work out. It's a flaw, ya'll.

 

Surprisingly enough, things are working out for our house. Just yesterday we received a great application that passed all the requirements and the folks are planning on moving in in October. Wow - talk about having faith. God knew what He was doing and I fully believe that He was also using this opportunity to teach me a few things. Like how to be patient, trust in His timing, actually believe what I preach (because I'm always telling folks to have faith... Ironic, I know).

 

So whatever you're going through in this moment, have faith that things truly will work out for the best. Sometimes the best doesn't necessarily look like what you pictured, but it's still the best for you.

When the world seems too big

Recently Hunter and I read through Hebrews 11 and to sum it up, it was reminding Christ-followers how through faith alone, people have been able to accomplish some of the greatest things. It then brought forth a question and statement that's been on my mind for some time:

 

"How can we even begin to explain this to a non-believer and I have felt like we've been up against such odds lately."

 

And when I say odds, I'm referencing to the overwhelming amount of people who are without Hope. I started looking at the vast numbers and became so utterly lost in how we are so alone in our fight for Good in this world. At how brothers and sisters are just living their lives without much thought into their purpose. And how I just wish, wish, wish things could be made right.
 

 

Then I was reminded that it doesn't do me any good in looking at the entire picture as a whole because yes, it is overwhelming and depressing. But if I can look at it day-by-day, minute-by-minute, and live my life on fire for Him, then He will take care of the rest. Brothers and sisters - stop wasting your lives just by going to church on Wednesdays and Sundays because "that's what momma and daddy taught me." Seize life by the horns and live each day with True purpose.

May your days be brighter

 

I'm not usually a morning person. Just ask Hunter but it takes 4 alarms, several "wake up or you're going to be late" threats, and copious amounts of Starbucks to get me through. Mornings and me, we're just not really meant to be.

 

I've always envied those who could wake up early and spend time with God before the chaos of the day began. Those quiet, tranquil moments that I'm sure bring about awe and reverie for The Great I Am. Man, I always had a little green-eyed monster on my back for that kind of dedication.

 

During a conversation with Hunter one night, I asked him why is it so hard for us to get up and meet God in the morning, but we can so easily get up early to grab random breakfast dates with each other. I honestly feel like it's easier to meet and greet with someone of flesh and bones and substance you can feel, rather than the One we cannot see right in front of us. It's easier to break dates with Him because hey, I'm covered by grace and He understands.

 

Those excuses and reasons to miss out on some of the most epic dates with Him finally caught up to me and I had had enough. No more "well I'm not a morning person so there..." or "He knows my heart; I'm good." Yes, those may be true but they still don't warrant a reason to not spend time with Him. Because let's be honest - am I doing it at the end of the day? Take a wild guess as to what that answer is.

 

So I've prayed for God to wake me in the mornings with a renewed spirit to seize the day by greeting Him first and foremost. And wouldn't you know, I've been able to wake up early? What a weird feeling it is to see Him first thing in the morning and we can talk about all the things going on. He and I, we hash out some of life's hurdles and rejoice in our friendship and make new on our end of the bargain {more so me than Him because He's that good}.

 

What are your excuses for not spending time with Him? If you're anything like me, you've got enough to last you a lifetime. Let's burn those excuses, say to hell with them, and seek Him always. May your days be brighter for it. 

Broken Vessels

Have you heard the song Amazing Grace {Broken Vessels}? For some reason, each time I hear this song I'm moved by the lyrics and the deeper meaning behind them. It's those moments where the words meet me where I am in that point in my life, captivating my soul, and resonating deep down into my roots.

 

I love that I can go to Him as I am - broken and empty handed - with really nothing to offer. Knowing that even in my darkest hour I am still loved and not forsaken by Him. Never forsaken by Him. Through the good, the bad, the ugly, His love endures and the strength is everlasting.

 

 

Everything I do, I want it to honor You. Whether it's through my daily work grind, the way I love friends and family, my reaction to a bad situation; I want it all to glorify Him. At the end of the day, if people see You through me, then it's been a great day. Fellow brothers and sisters, please understand that you are being watched intently by society. Use that as a vessel.

 

 

In a world where love is superficial, comes with strings, isn't pure, it's so beyond comforting knowing that I have His love. With that hope and faith, I really can endure anything that this world hurtles my way. Thank you, Jesus, for laying your life down to raise this broken girl to life.

 

 



From one {NOMAD} soul to another

Ecclesiastes 3:11

I would consider my soul and spirit to be nomadic - sitting and waiting for the world to come to me just isn't my style. Rather I find it exhilarating and freeing to seek the world, pull up to it face-to-face, ask it all the hard questions. My mantra tends to be, "Don't waste my time."

 

Having a nomad's spirit doesn't necessarily mean I must move from town to town, city to city, seeking that land's next best thrill. More so, my nomadic spirit yearns to seek the broken and lost, form relationships with the unwanted, and bind myself to their seeking souls. I find true pleasure in just being with people, loving them as they are.

 

I've wrestled with the demons that taunt me daily - "Nobody can handle your wild spirit. You make people uncomfortable. You're a jumper." On my worst days, I truly believe them. I can't help but to wonder why I am the way I am, and how can I possibly tame that wild mustang.

 

But on my best days? I'm proud of the joy I find in needing to travel amongst the people around me, engaging in their lives, shaking and moving to the rhythm of life and finding my fill in that. The sedentary life just isn't me. And that's okay because at the end of the day, my nomad soul was designed by the One and Only.

 

When He knit me in my mother's womb, he dubbed me with the need to seek and declared that it would all be for His glory. On my worst days, He reminds me of that simple yet complex fact. That I am His, and He is mine. Regardless of the restlessness in my soul, I will always find peace and tranquility just by resting in Him and His love for me.

 

To my fellow wild spirits - NEVER be ashamed that you are most content running free. Seek the world around you with the guaranteed notion that tomorrow is never promised. Don't waste your time in forcing your nomad soul to stay put because "that's what is normal." Normal is ghastly boring anyways.

Power in {Prayer}

As a Christ-follower (fun fact: my husband says I use that term all the time as opposed to Christian. It's true, I think "Christian" is overused and more times than not, incorrectly used), I fully believe in the power of prayer. Are my prayers always answered right away with a definitive answer? No, but I still believe in the power of it.

 

When we pray, we tend to spout off a to-do list to God: "God please fix this. God please do that. God please make this mean person disappear!" It's okay, I'm guilty of it too and I will be the first to admit it.
 

 

What if we stopped giving God a to-do list, but rather prayed for HIS will to be done, HIS to-do list to be done? That's a pretty radical thought right? So let's turn those previously mentioned to-do's above to be God-centered:

 

"God please fix this."

"If it's your will God, please fix this. If it's not your will, I will still praise you always."

 

"God please do that."

"Thank you God for allowing these events to occur in my life. I pray that you will continue to lead me where you want me to go. Whatever happens God, I will embrace the circumstances because of the hope I have in you."

 

"God please make this mean person disappear!"

"God, thank you for this person's life. Thank you for bringing them into my life. God please help me to be a light to this person, and my words are reflective of you. And God, please control my anger towards this person."

 

Do you see the difference? When we stop making demands for our sake, but start embracing demands for His sake, I fully believe the power of prayer is real. It's hard to not be self-centered and want what we want; trust me, I would know first-hand. But oh the wonders of what He will use you for when you stop saying me, myself, and I, but instead, You, only You, always You.

 

So I challenge you with this -  move yourself out of the way and stop making demands. Rather open your prayer life to the One that can actually do it all. And do it joyfully!