The other night, Hunter and I were blessed to be in a room with some of our closest friends and complete strangers, going through the War Room Bible study. In the time spent together, we were trying to navigate our way through some hard questions. I clumsily stumbled around through those questions, trying to be honest and yet at the same time, grimacing at the honesty level.
It was a sad sight to see, my friends.
I have yet to see the movie, War Room, but I've heard it's phenomenal and will shake you like none other. That is, if you're the shake-able type. And I most certainly am after weeks and weeks of stubborn rebellion, thus finally giving in to His plans for me. Man, that junk hurts. And sure does bruise my pride!
As I was looking through those questions, the ugly truth reared its beautiful head: I've lost contact with Him. I've become so consumed with every day life, trying to make it through the grind, just one more "church" thing to get done, that I've successfully pushed Him to the side. Sure, "church" things are nice but let's be real here - I'm not focusing on Him entirely during that time. I'm more concerned with making sure the time is being observed so students aren't late to going home, questions are being answered, lessons are being taught, teenagers aren't fussing and fighting and "be quiet for the love of GOD".
At the end of the day I'd much rather become lost in some good, ole fashioned secular entertainment, rather than challenge my brain any further to go into deep, intellectual thoughts. That's me being honest, hate me for it. In the back of my mind, I know I need to turn off that oh-so-tense episode of Lost but I simply can't because guys, we just discovered who the "Others" are.
Is this what my world has become? Mere go-here's, and do-this, and don't-have-time-for-Him every day shenanigans? Is that what your world has become? How in the H-E-double hockey sticks can I continue to bear more fruit when I'm not watering, pruning, sweating over my tree? My fruit feels dead.
So to my fellow movers, shakers, doers - should we not move, shake, and do for His sake? Should we continue to fill our schedules with daunting tasks that really don't amount to anything? I'm right where the flesh-side of me wants to be, but not anymore. Move aside flesh, your eviction notice has been served.
I think it ate my comment :(
ReplyDeleteHaha - the "others" - I don't know if I've ever been so obsessed with a show as I was with Lost. But I hear ya, friend! I feel like I've been like that for years and I'm making my way back to Him with more depth and passion for Him. Don't be too hard on yourself either. He understands that we have ups and downs - but you know what I'm saying!
ReplyDeleteI just started reading a book called Simply Tuesday - I'm only 2 chapters in and it may not 100% apply, but I think there are parallels. It's all about stopping and remembering that seeking His Kingdom is in the everyday moments - the moments that we try to get through, brush past, cross off our list, all in the pursuit of bigger things that we feel are more important. I've yet to get to the 'how to be better' section but I'm hopeful for some good learnings!
ReplyDelete