{Pieces}

Life tends to move at a wicked speed, as we have already all established together and agreed upon. Life can throw curve balls and changes that you may or may not have seen coming from left field. Life can leave you feeling like the world has taken and taken and taken, and you stand there with only your empty scarred palms held open. Life can make you feel like the world around you is falling to pieces, and all you can do is watch them scatter away.

Life can be like that sometimes. 

Days can be hard and moments can be rough, but clinging to the promise that God is who He says He is, it's the only way I can make it through each and every hard day or moment. Bringing my worries and cares, my chipped urn before Him, with my empty scarred palms held open is all He wants. The daily surrender of Your will, not mine. Your ways, not mine. Your plans, not mine. Your strength, not mine. I'm thankful that God has allowed me to be on His team. I'm thankful that God has called me His own, and He never grows tired of me coming to Him (even if it's about the same ole thang because let's be honest, processing things take time).

I know so many folks that go through each day as it comes without knowing the all surpassing peace that Jesus provides. And I say this not to be demeaning in any way, but because it's an honest question - How? How do you go through the hard without Him? I know I'm not strong enough to do any of this life without Him (believe me, I've tried!). More days than not, I'd rather just throw in the towel and say, "God, beam me up!" 

But to live is Christ, to die is gain as Paul says in Philippians. So I'm choosing to trust that God is who He says He is. I'm going to heed to the godly advice from a man (Paul) who's life was radically changed in physical and spiritual ways, because he must've been onto something when he was given this wisdom. To know Jesus is to know love.

So then, if to live is Christ then we must choose the hard and walk through it with Hope and Grace, because of His strength. That means choosing to wake up and have the hard conversations with your spouse. That means choosing to fight for your marriage. That means choosing to raise your child in the way you should. That means loving on the difficult neighbor or co-worker. That means choosing to be real and authentic with people while showing them the mercy of Jesus in your life.

Mamas, friends, loved ones - choose the hard in every day life. Even when it feels like the immediate inner sphere around you in slipping away piece by piece. Know that God is still holding on to you so tightly, and will never let you go.

"When the night is holding on to me,

God is holding on.

When the night is holding on to me,

God is holding on...."

That Old {Rugged} Cross

Let's talk about that old rugged cross and what it means to me.

As Easter is coming, the sweet old hymn of "Rugged Cross" is on repeat in my head. As a woman of faith, that cross represents so much to me -- the hope and joy I experience every single day is because the Son of God chose to hang from that old rugged cross and die for me and my sins. But He didn't do it just for me. No, he did it for everyone. 

Have a shared my story with you? Not my story of marriage or becoming a mom. Or the story of how I'm a sister to 3 younger siblings. Not the story of my dearest friendships or work life. No, this is my story of redemption and continual restoration day in and day out.

I was the kid that took my family to church. My mom will totally agree with this statement. I loved getting dressed up and going to the church I grew up in, looking at the stained glass cross at the front of the church and hearing about a man named Jesus. As I stepped into my teenage years, I walked through the confirmation process because, honestly, it's what I thought I had to do. Looking back now, I see that my head was in it but heart wasn't there and I had not been discipled properly to fully understand the weight of my decision (discipleship will be a whole 'nother platform I'll preach on someday).

So, I did that and became involved in youth group. I loved the friendships, the trips, feeling like I belonged to a group. Unfortunately, I was an inch deep and a mile wide in my faith. When I hit 18 years old and college, I ran fast and hard from church and my faith. I became wrapped up in a relationship that was nowhere near God-honoring or healthy. Towards the end of that relationship, God began removing those scales back from my eyes and leading me towards Him. Ultimately, I left the relationship and began chasing after Him again. I'll be honest, it was a very slow start and it wasn't entirely successful every day. But thank God for grace, amen?

Here's the thing about my faith and all that it is - it absolutely does not mean I have it all together, or that I don't struggle with things (hello anxiety, lack of patience, sour mouth, etc.). But because I have surrendered and said, "God, you're bigger than me. You're the only one that can change me," I have a hope and joy that is unexplainable. The finite problems of this world don't weigh me down anymore, and the fact that I know when I take my last breath on this earth, I will take my next breath standing before my Maker. How incredible is that? Do you believe in that?

Let's say I'm wrong for a minute, and all this Jesus stuff I believed in the majority of my life was just a bunch of story-telling. All that means is at the end of the day, I end up in the ground just like you and that's that. But what if I'm right, and all this Jesus stuff is legit? My life after my last breath, after that comma, will continue and be in a beautiful place called Heaven and I won't know suffering there, I won't have tears, and I will be with my Savior who died on that rugged cross for me. As for the one who didn't believe in this Jesus stuff, after their last breath and after their comma, their life will continue but we won't be together in Heaven. And that wrecks my soul in unimaginable ways. 

So, I tell you all of this because of a great quote by an atheist I once heard - "How much do I have to hate you to not share with you the greatest hope and joy I have?" 

I don't hate you but more than anything, I want you to know that there is hope and joy and peace and all of that even in the midst of suffering and struggle. Does my faith make bad things not happen to me? Absolutely not. But it makes going through the hard things easier because at the end of the day, this isn't my final home and this isn't where my hope lies. My hope lies in the one that hung on that old rugged cross.

"So I'll cherish the old rugged cross

'Til my trophies at last I lay down.

I will cling to the old rugged cross

And exchange it someday for a crown."

**If after reading this you have questions, please message me, text me, call me, send me a smoke signal. I will never ever shame you for asking questions, and I welcome the really hard questions that challenge my faith. I love you, but Jesus loves you more and you deserve to know Him.**

Six {Months} of You

Excuse me one moment, while I go and rock myself in a corner while silently weeping because it has been almost 6 months since we brought our greatest adventure home.

6... months... people....

That's half of a year away from the big day. How does one slow time down? Is there a Pinterest recipe or DIY step-by-step on how to accomplish this task? If ya'll find one, do let me know because I have to figure out the solution to this dilemma. Until then, I will continue to watch my baby boy grow right before my very eyes with the utmost joy in my spirit.

In all seriousness though, we really have enjoyed watching Beau grow into such a sweet little boy. For the first almost 2 years of his life, we watched him grow up through photos, videos, adoption agency updates, health reports, and personality/life stories provided by his foster family. We were very fortunate to receive all of that information while we waited for him, but there is nothing like watching his little life unfold real time. Nothing compares to seeing his goofy personality on a daily basis.

We'll also be celebrating his half birthday later this week. We landed in the U.S. just 15 minutes before he turned 2 years old, and we have seen him grow by leaps and bounds in the last 6 months. Everything from his adjustment to his new home, to his speech, to his personality. He is full of life and laughter, enveloped by a wild spirit that I pray will never be subdued. His smiles and giggles will absolutely send you into a fit of laughter with him. The hugs and kisses he gives are unlike any other.

Because I don't want to ever forget these moments, here is a glimpse into where our Beau man is at, for now, because we all know how quickly things change as each day passes:

1. Outside, outside, and more outside. On days that are beautiful and sunny (heck, even rainy days if I let him), we are outside. On the weekends, it's an all day event. As the weather is warming up, play time with water and dirt are usually involved {read: always}. I'm an adamant believer that sunshine is good for the soul, and getting dirty in the outside world is absolutely necessary for a kid and their imagination. 

2. Fruits! He is big on bananas and grapes but has recently taken a liking to strawberries and blueberries. Wait until watermelons and peaches come around, sweet boy. 

3. Beau is beginning to imitate words more so that has been fun to witness! Things like "ten" (when we count "6, 7, 8, 9...." he'll go "10!"), and "light" ("eye" because L's are hard to say), and "up, up, up... down!" are just a few that he has been mastering. Creating an environment where he is comfortable to chat it up has been key in his speech growth. We just talk all day long!

4. Night time routines are some of the sweetest routines we have. From bath time, to brushing our teeth, to story reading with Da, and then the sweetest kisses before we turn out the lights. Everything we do for Beau and with Beau is incredibly intentional - we want to continue to demonstrate to him that he is loved and cherished so very much. For a child that was removed from everything he knew, knowing that he is home, is crucial.

5. Legs. The boy has legs, and they are stretching! He is going to be so tall, just like his Da. Soon enough, he'll be taller than his mama. But as tall as he is getting, I can still hold my baby while he falls asleep on my shoulder. 

These are the days and moments I never want to forget. I know that we will blink and he'll be 5 years old, chatting it up, and exploring all the things with his childlike faith. Then we'll blink again and he'll be 12 years old, with such a tween attitude. Blink again, he'll be 16 years old and driving himself around (and driving us crazy with worry, I'm sure). And yet again, we blink and he'll be leaving me for college, or the military, or whatever dream he is pursuing.

As his mama, I'll know I did a good job raising and preparing my baby boy for the world ahead. God has given me one of the greatest responsibilities in raising one of His creations. I'm lucky to be Beau's mama and I'll be forever humbled by the fact that God chose me to be his. Of all the names and nicknames I have, I am called "Mama" by the most precious little boy to ever steal my heart and it is hands down my most favorite name.

Son, your Da and I have moved mountains for you only by the sheer grace and strength of God. The love we feel for you is unexplainable, and unlike anything we have ever known. I adore you, peanut.

Blueberry Muffins {and} Bible Reading Musings

There is nothing like a homemade southern blueberry muffin, complete with the crunchy topping. It just exemplifies the southern way of life when it comes to eating -- we don't skip out on the good stuff, folks. Blueberry muffins and anything with peaches in it. Let me stop while I'm ahead because man, my mouth is watering.

Now that we've established all that is right and holy with the blueberry muffins, let's move on to some Bible reading musings. I'm going to be totally honest here, is that alright with ya'll? 

I have always struggled with my Bible reading.

Like, always always. I have over the years admired the women in my life who can wake up before the sun rises, prepare their coffee and breakfast for the day (if they're a true southern woman, it's a blueberry muffin with crunchy topping, amen??), and dive into God's Word. And then they're able to go about their day and radiate the love of Christ to all they interact with. Very much the Proverbs 31 type gal.

Then there's me... 

I would set my alarm earlier, threaten myself before falling asleep that if I didn't wake up so-help-me-God, only to hit snooze and sleep in. Then of course, I'm rushing around like a mad woman with her britches bunched in a wad and just chastising the very existence of my soul for not waking up when I should have. Then the guilt sets in, you read a couple quick verses because "it's the right thing" (no, it's not, not if your heart is not in the right place), and go on about my day. What a travesty. Also, for those that are muttering, "Well she can do her Bible reading before bed." No, no she cannot. Because as soon as my body goes horizontal, my eyes close. Believe me when I say I've tried!

BUT. There is always victory in Jesus. 

I began a Bible reading plan through my Bible app and I thought to myself, "Okay, let's just read this. Let's dive into God's Word and READ it. Read it word for word as I would a novel." Again, let's be honest... Old habits die hard. But GOD. New habits can be formed with time, and perseverance, and patience, and the Spirit moving in you when you allow, and coffee, and blueberry muffins as snacks. The start was hard, I will not lie. But as I continued to press on toward the goal, I truly began to fall in love with the words before me. The stories and the reminders of God's faithfulness no matter what. Thank goodness for Jesus and His love for us!

My goal is to read the Bible entirely. I want to read the stories, psalms, passages, and love letters that my sweet Father intended for me. Once I have read through the Bible entirely, then I will go back through and dissect it piece by piece because for me, the stories will be familiar and I can say, "Oh! This is when this happened." Just as Jesus becomes familiar to me each and every day in my sanctification process, His Word will be like an old familiar friend when I read it. As a Christ follower, how can I NOT know my faith intimately? That would be like standing at the altar with Hunter making a vow to love and cherish... Only to turn, walk away, and hardly know the man. What is the point?? If I can do it, you can do it too. 

Thank you, Lord, for your Word filled to the brim with love and grace. And thank you for blueberry muffins.

Home {is} Where the Heart Is

Having a kid in the house ensures that every holiday will be celebrated to some degree. So of course, on St. Patrick's Day, I knew I wanted to create a fun meal and dessert for his ever-growing appetite. Shepherd's Pie with biscuits and homemade strawberry preserves was on the menu, followed by a "Lucky Leprechaun" dessert dirt cup. He was confused about the Shepherd's Pie but loved the green pudding and smashed Oreo's. You win some, you lose some. HA!

As I looked back on the picture I took of his little dessert cup before he devoured it, the sign in the background caught my eye... {HOME}

As a southern woman, I pride myself of creating a beautiful home. Complete with all the snackys, variety of drinks to offer, and cute pillows to adorn my couch. Because us southern women know that if we don't offer someone a drink the minute they walk into our homes and a comfy spot to land their toosh, we've committed the most atrocious cardinal sin as a proper southern lady, and our grandmothers would be rolling in their graves. God rest their souls.

As a Christ follower, the home front though carries a much deeper meaning. I strive to have my home represent a sanctuary for the weary who carry the burden of the world on their shoulders each day. My home should reflect the comfort and stability that Christ brings to our lives, to anyone that walks through our doors. But most importantly, I pray that my home is a place where anyone who comes will know without a shadow of doubt that they are loved not only by us, but more so by the Lover of their soul.

Lord, let the walls of my house carry Your name through them.

Taking {Stock}

Before we became parents, someone once told me that "the days are long but the years are short." Maybe for you friend, but for me? The days are short and the years are even shorter... How is that even possible??

Time flies when you're having fun, I presume.

Let's take stock of where we each are at today at the end of another week. How are you physically? Mentally? Spiritually? The hustle and bustle and every day grind can distract us from staying connected to our internal thermometer. We can become so busy just trying to keep up that before we know it, we're wondering why the internal cup is drained empty and how do we fill it back up. 

As a wife and mama, we wear many hats. Caregiver, chauffeur, chef, maid, lover, friend, employee, and the list goes on. We spend our entire day being needed by someone and exerting every bit of the best we have to offer to meet those needs. I hear you mama - it's a lot some days! But take heart and hear me when I say this...

... You're an incredible wife. You are a good mama to those babes. You're raising small humans to one day be strong like you and enter the world in which we live to thrive. As a sister in Christ, you're discipling and leading and guiding the small heart towards the Lord. You're doing big things, mama...

So if you find yourself overworked, exhausted, feeling defeated, or just tired of the routine - know that you are loved, cherished, and what you are doing matters. You are valued and appreciated. You truly are wonder woman. And rest in this - find your identity first as a daughter of God. From this, everything else will flow.

Daughter of God...

...

Wife striving to live the Proverbs 31 life...

...

Mama to littles that adore you...

...

Faithful friend to so many around you...

...

And so on.

Keep waking up, keep discipling, keep loving because the work you are doing now is making waves in the lives of those you impact. Find rest this weekend and refill your cup, mamas!

Here {I Am}, Send Me

Talk about knocking the dust off this 'ole here blog! I became swept up in reading all of the old posts, seeing God's faithfulness through the lens of being on the other side, and quietly thanking Him for new mercies every single day. Can I get an amen?!

The last post to grace the feed of this blog was August 2, 2017. My mind was instantly taken back to where we were in our adventures during that time....

... Miscarriage and infertility...

... Should we start the adoption process now or wait...

... Hunter's dad had been diagnosed with cancer...

Tears instantly prick the backs of my eyes because, MAN, those were some hard days. Shoot, months. Heck, let's go with years. So hard that I in fact decided to walk away from blogging. The writing, the story-telling, the sharing of Hope and Joy because other things needed my attention in those moments. One of the greatest followers of my blog and avid readers was Hunter's dad. It is because of him that I have decided to come back here today and resume my passion of writing, but more importantly, writing to glorify God.

In a world that is so dark and loud and evil, we are called to be light to others around us, to share the message of Hope and Joy and Peace, regardless of the humanly suffering we may face. 

So, a bit of an update if you will...

... Miscarriage and infertility are still part of our story. And it's a beautiful one. The women (and men) that we have been fortunate enough to meet and walk alongside in their journeys, in ministering to them, has been indescribably humbling and joyful.

... We started the adoption process May 2018. We waited 3.5 years to bring the most precious little boy home, and the journey for that is something I will absolutely be sharing in this space. His adoption story is a testimony at just how utterly amazing God is. We also want to encourage other families in their adoption process and to bring a sense of community for them.

... Hunter's daddy went to be with Jesus on May 20, 2019. His long-suffering and battle with cancer may have won on this side of heaven, but his heavenly healing ultimately won. Praise God for that! I see Ros every single day in his son, Hunter. From his laugh to his kindness to his sassy attitude, Hunter exemplifies his father. Ros would've loved his grandson.

Many more adventures have begun between now and then, and others have ended. Through it all, our eyes have been on the One who has held us up. No matter where God has us on this journey, our response to His callings strive to be, "Here I am, send me." Sometimes easier said, than done. But nevertheless, let it be me, God. 

Ros, I'm picking up the "pen" to begin writing again. This is for you.

Life as we know it...

... Are work day mornings rushing around, trying to get ready, pack lunches, take the dog out, etc. We always pause to kiss each other goodbye and give well wishes for the day.

... Has been full of surprises in just this year alone.

... Reminds us to slow down here and there when we get to going too much. We always try to make time to just sit and be still.

... Is made up of afternoons spent walking our yard and playing with Manny. We've been watching him closely over these last few months to see how he would handle being an only pup. We're convinced he's happy as a clam knowing that he gets our full attention and snuggles.

... Has made us really happy despite the down moments. God has walked with us in some of our scariest, darkest times and we know He will continually walk with us in the days to come.

Life as we know it is sweet and wonderful, full of love and happenings. Life as we know it, is GLORIOUS.

Oh the places {WE} will go

Happy Monday morning folks! I know, I know. It's Monday. But still, it's the start of a new week with new adventures. That can't be too bad, right? Now that 4th of July has passed, I'm pretty much ready for Fall weather to be here. I'm ready for the boots and scarves, cool mornings, and the holidays that come with the Fall season. It's going to be a good Fall, ya'll!

Facebook decided to lovingly remind me of the time that Hunter and I traveled to Honduras for mission work and talk about memories flooding back. 

Look at those little babies! And that view! It got me thinking about all the adventures we've been on over the last 6+ years of our lives together. Some really great adventures, others we didn't enjoy so much. But just seeing how far we've come together and how God has held us in His hands throughout everything really puts it all in perspective. His love for us has never wavered.

So on this Monday, as I'm eagerly anticipating the Fall season, I'm also looking back and thanking God for His mercies, grace, and love. I'm thanking God for the man in my life that I am so utterly in love with. I'm thanking God for our little country home that keeps us warm and provides a place of rest and retreat. I'm thanking God for loving me endlessly, never ceasing, no matter how far I may stray.

Facing {MY} Giants

There was so much great information that was touched on during our time at camp. The main focus or theme of camp was CONVERGENCE - choosing one path or the other with the hopes that you would choose the path that converges your life with God's. One particular night, the pastor was speaking on sin and how you can try to overcome your repetitive sin, or the sin that you repeat constantly. For me, that was a nasty tongue. Whether it be bad language (I know, I know ya'll) or belittling someone else, I've known for a long time it all needs to stop.

But it's so dadgum hard to break a habit.

So the pastor brought up the idea of facing your giants head on. In essence, when you pray and ask God to forgive you of your sins, don't just skip flippantly right over that part. Instead, NAME your sins out. What a gross taste that put in my mouth?! Having to say, "God, I'm sorry for belittling {name}. Can you help me to turn away from that. God, I'm sorry for saying the words I said. I know they hurt you." Hearing myself say those sins out loud and really looking them in the eyes has pretty much nipped that in the butt from happening again. Granted, I will still struggle, but I have become much more aware of what I say.

And then the pastor said to take it a step further. Write down your top three sins you struggle with daily. The ones that you don't even realize you're doing in that moment until the moment has passed. Once you've written them down, keep them somewhere where you KNOW you will look at it throughout the day. For me, that's my planner. Ya'll... you will realize how quickly you are starting those sins in the day. It's a nice little wake up call when you have a way to hold yourself accountable.

So I want to challenge each of ya'll today - what little or big sins are struggling with that are keeping you at a distance from God? Own those giants, look them in the eyes, and say, "My God is stronger than you" and let's knock them out together. Know that you're not alone in your every day struggle to maintain a somewhat Christ-like lifestyle (I say somewhat because, honestly, we will never have the perfect Christ-like lifestyle). Love each of ya'll tremendously. Mean it!

Mountain {TIME}

What a whirlwind the last few days have been! Hunter and I just returned from Ridgecrest, NC with so many new memories, revitalized spirits, and deeper friendships. God is good! We, along with several other adults, took 60ish teenagers up into the beautiful mountains of North Carolina and ya'll, it was glorious! I was sitting on my back porch yesterday, just taking a break from getting the house back in order from being gone, and I became nostalgic of the time we spent there.

 

It's so easy to find your groove again when you're able to unplug and step away from life. We could all use a bit more unplugging.

 

This was the view from our dorm room. And this was also the only picture I took all week. I'm not kidding when I say I "unplugged"

 

I will share on a couple of things later in the week that really struck a chord with me and have since settled deep into my heart. But for now, I will say this:

 

I didn't realize I had become so numb and indifferent to God.

 

Yea, so that was kind of a painful process to own up to and work through. I may or may not have cried. But nevertheless, He and I are finding our routine again. I'm trying to figure out how to not become numb to HIM, but still keep the every day struggles and pains from overtaking my mind. It's a see-saw battle of trying to keep my defenses in tact, all the while, allowing Him to be near me. I'm no expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm getting better each day.

 

For so many months now, I have been wishing away 2017. I was ready for 2018 and to get past all that 2017 had left in its wake. But I've since decided to embrace all that this year has thrown at us because here's the thing:  My pain/frustrations/situations are all being used for God's glory. No matter what may be going on, He is with me through it all. Even in the suckiest parts of suck.

 

That's who my God is.

July Feels

Happy month of July and happy halfway mark through the year! I just love everything about the month of July - celebrations of all kinds, shorts and flip flops kind of weather, beach days, late night sunsets. Something about July is just magical for me. It's as if the year reaches a point where it recharges itself and begins again for another round of life to be lived. I feel like July is a month where a new page can be turned over, fresh and clean, ready to be written upon.

 

It also happens to be my birth month, so there's that. I've been through a lull the last few years with each passing birthday. It was just another day, another year, nothing entirely special. For some reason, my excitement and passion for birthdays has resurfaced and I'm entirely excited to celebrate my last year in my 20's. Let's just let that set in for a minute....
 

My 20's contained some of my most influential years of my life that have brought me to where I am today. Growing pains and sweet moments have molded me into the person I am now that has allowed me to very readily take on all that my 30's will bring. The last 9 years of my life have been quite mesmerizing in the sense that I can't believe a decade has nearly passed. I feel like my teen years are so far behind me now, yet, it seems as if yesterday that I welcomed the young age of 20 into my life. Such a bittersweet time in my life.

 

I have a few things up my sleeves that I want to accomplish in my last year of being in my 20's. Things like learning how to play one song on the violin, seeing someplace new that requires a plane ticket, taking local adventures and rediscovering my love for the beauty that surrounds me and is within a short car drive, going to a Braves game in their new stadium, hiking new trails, primitive camping with my man (I honestly can't believe I just typed those words #needabathroom #andabed), and so many more adventures. To my last year of being in my 20's - let's knock this out of the ball park.

Love Letters

Dear Hunter,

We were just stating the other day how fast time has flown. We've experienced 6 years of life together and despite some of the harder times, we cannot wait to see what God has in store for us in the coming years. We can honestly say that our marriage has endured some ups and downs, some turns and twists, but through it all we've kept our focus narrowly on God and on each other.

I love that we can sense the other's feelings or thoughts without ever having to say a word. It's like we're connected in some spiritual sense, a tether attached to both our hearts, creating a link between our emotions. When one is hurting, the other knows almost immediately and is able to respond in such a way that no other person could do so perfectly. Our eyes provide a window into our souls for each other and we use those as guiding lights to assess the other person in various situations. It's amazing how God has created that for us.

 

{circa 2016 - take me back!}

I know I say it daily to you, sometimes multiple times throughout the day, but I truly love you. I love the way you snuggle so sweetly and sleepily in the mornings. I love the way we pick at each other and how it's like we're old friends. I love that cute little toosh of yours. I love the way you can make a friend no matter where you are - you are my social butterfly. I love that kids are instantly drawn to your spirit and truly find you fascinating, personable, and funny (maybe the fact that you're like a giant has them fascinated too). I love your quiet way of taking in things and how you can so easily control your emotions. I love that you're mine.

We try to plan for the future whether it be bills or growing our family, and sometimes things don't work out in the way we would like. But I'm so grateful to be making plans alongside you. The complex and harsh details of being an adult are softened and eased because we navigate them together. I wholeheartedly believe that each morning our feet touch the ground, the devil is saying something along the lines of, "Crap, they're awake." We've been told that the devil doesn't like marriage and will do what he can to destroy it. He's tried, I'll give him credit for that. But his attempts to undermine the beauty of all that our marriage reflects and stands for are futile and laughable.

We're a team, boyfriend. And I wouldn't want it any other way.

Always yours,

Kel
 



Adventure {AWAITS}

Happy Tuesday! Hopefully everybody had a wonderful weekend and were ready to face this new week head on. We've had some pretty rainy weather these last several days and I'll be honest, it makes getting out of bed in the mornings pretty dern tough. I just want to stay in bed and snuggle all day long. But duty calls...

 

Have you ever had an ah-ha moment? A moment where it seemed that clarity settled in and you decided to change your ways? Yea, no?

 

Hunter and I had an ah-ha moment this past weekend where we decided to get out of routine and into adventure. Hear me out for a sec - we have somewhat of a routine each week and weekend. Now there's nothing wrong with a little bit of routine; I love a good schedule. But when your routine tends to undermine the chance for adventure, it can get a little, well, boring. So we've decided to start adventuring!

 

We have so many great things close to us - the Gulf coast, adorable towns, hiking trails, and so much more. Panhandle Florida really is a neat place and we totally take it for granted! Of course we'll have to be reasonable because #brokerthanbroke, but we decided we shouldn't wait until "we have the means" to go and do and see and live and be. We're not guaranteed tomorrow so why wait to live until then when you can live today?

 

With that said, we've got a few ideas and plans up our sleeves.  But if you have any ideas of fun things that you've done in the past, we're open ears to any and all suggestions! As I've mentioned before, 2017 has been a growing year for us and we don't want to waste any moment of life that wasn't lived to the max. Seek adventure, my friends!

Sweet Memories

There's just something about memories that always does a soul some good. Being able to reflect on periods of time in your life that brought happiness, joy, laughter, and learning curves. Memories can mold us into who we are today, shape us as the person that God intends us to be. It's even sweeter when memories have family and friends involved, life that was shared together.

 

Just the other day, I was able to catch up with a sweet friend of mine that I have known since birth. No lie. Our mothers were friends {and still are} while they were pregnant with us and she was born just 2 months before me. 29 years of life lived together in different parts of the world, in different life situations, and we find our way back to each other. You know it's a true sisterhood when you can see each other after months apart and pick up right where you left off.

 

 

As my friend and I reminisced over life and the adventures we've had together and individually, I couldn't help but to thank God for her. Lapoo {as I call her} is a true woman of God - strong, independent, fiercely loyal, and above all, loving. She loves without end and fights for the good. I've always admired my sweet sister in her adoration of her Father, the way she finds joy in all things. She IS Proverbs 31:29-31.

 

To all the women in the world - let's cherish each other, build each other up, and root for each other.
To my sisters in Christ - let's love each other and represent to the world what God's love looks like. Can you imagine the change that could come about?

It's been awhile since I first {SAW} you

My goodness folks! It's been about 1.5 months since I've even logged into this place and I'm blown away by the sheer fact that it's June already. As in summertime. As in OMG IT'S BEACH WEATHER. And we have plenty of beautiful beaches in the Panhandle of my home state.

 

Enough ramblings... What in the hay have ya'll been up to??

 

Life sort of took over in mine and Hunter's world. God has really been stretching and growing us (it's been painful, not gonna lie), we've experienced firsts and lasts, had our hearts broken and on the rebound, and just really have endured some of our wildest days yet.

 

we clean up pretty good...

Let's catch up...

 

- Hunter got a new job! He's still doing the same line of work {forestry} but he's now with the State so that means a little bit more normal hours. Hunter is currently working hard to become certified to fight wildfires (yes, it makes me nervous, but I'm super proud of him) so he'll be one of those guys that will be deployed when wildfires break out. Be sure to hug a forester today!
 

I seriously swoon over him every.dang.day (And this is during a burn)

 

- I survived sessions here in the Florida Legislature and I honestly learn something new every day. Hunter and I are very fortunate and thankful to have our careers and the ability to have a roof over our heads, food on our table, and a little extra spending money. We live simply but wouldn't have it any other way.

 

- Hunter and I have also been veeerrrrryyyy busy with Young Life in Tallahassee.  Don't know what Young Life is? CHECK IT OUT. I seriously wish I was a teenager or college student again JUST so I could do Young Life and the summer camps. We're actually in our down time right now since school is out but we're super excited for everything to kick back up come Fall. God has some really big plans with Young Life and we're excited to see where it grows to (we're looking at you Quincy, Florida).

 

- We've been dealing with some family illnesses in the last few months. This is where faith comes into play, people. Not knowing what is going to happen, not really understanding why someone you love so much has to get so sick, and not being able to heal them has really forced us to trust solely in God and His purpose. Yes, we don't understand things that happen but HE DOES. And His ways are always good (even when it totally sucks). Faith is having that hope and belief that everything is going to be okay regardless of the outcome.
 

My FIL is literally the best.

For you non-southerners... Sug (n): a term of endearment (pronounced "shoog")

 

- We recently had to put one of our pups down. I won't go into reasons and I'm not quite ready to dive into that topic {and probably won't on the interwebs}, but I can honestly say it was one of the hardest things I have ever done (Hunter will agree with me). I would not wish that decision on my worst enemy. Our hearts are still healing but we know we made the right decision. As bad as that hurt, we survived it and are learning from it. Don't want a pity party, just ask that ya'll continue to pray for us.

- My baby sister graduated high school!! I officially feel old as dirt, thank you very much. Fun fact for all you local folks - she's a photographer. And a dadgum good one at that. Feel free to check out her page on FB and contact her should you want any pictures done.
 

 

All in all, I feel like we've lived a lot of life in the last 6 months. We've rejoiced and jumped around wildly; other days, we've hit our knees begging God to take the pain away. But that's life and we wouldn't have it any other way. It's beautiful, ugly, wild, calm, and above all, it's ours to live. No matter what our circumstances are in that moment, we thank God and give Him all the glory for allowing us to experience those moments.

First day of SPRING

I do believe today is the first official day of Spring... And I could not be more excited! Spring signifies such a beautiful time for me - it's the time where things come back to life, out of hibernation, and bring forth such beauty. I love the memories that are associated with Spring. It was the time of year where Hunter and I rededicated our lives to Christ years back. It was the time when we got engaged.

 

circa 4.20.2014

 

I spent yesterday at the beach with my MIL and it was such a beautiful day on our Gulf Coast. As we were driving back home (we literally only live about 1.5 hours from the coast), we commented on how lucky we are to be able to live close to such a pretty place. Not many folks can say that they live within a days' drive to white, sandy beaches. We're truly fortunate!

 

this does not have a filter... it's just that pretty!

 

I truly hope this Spring season brings each of you a sense of renewed life and beautiful days that are to be cherished. Regardless of where you are in life, the events that are happening in your life, just take each day as it comes. There are many times where Hunter and I literally take each minute as it comes, each second as it comes.

 

Lastly, I want to dedicate this post to my father-in-law. He faithfully reads my blog and shares with me his thoughts - and I LOVE it! Ros, here's to praying that on this first official day of Spring, God will continue to bring healing to your body. His ways are always good and I'm so thankful for His mercies. Love you bunches!

Losing Control

photo courtesy of my sister

 

I'm not sure if I've said it before but 2016 and 2017, hands down, take the gold in life lesson teachings. Between last year and the last couple of months, we've really been forced to reconcile with the cards that have been dealt to us and our families. We've also been forced to surrender all of our control to the One that controls everything.

 

Can I just admit for a quick second how painful this has been?

 

Over the last several months, God has slowly but surely chiseled away at everything that I held high above Him. And a lot of that was because of the control issues I had. I fully believed that I could control many situations; I may not have said it out loud, but I certainly told God to take a back seat because I'm driving. What a joke.

 

God has so lovingly held me (and us, for that matter) through this process as He has chipped away our hard, exterior selves and this in turn has forced us to willingly surrender everything we have to Him. I'm talking about the wants and idols we had placed above and before Him. For me (let's be honest for a minute here), I had placed before Him my idolatry of wanting things done on my time, my way. I had placed Him behind those things because I felt that I could control those very things on my own.

 

If you can just imagine the wake up call that He gave me, times it by about 100. God showed me very quickly, and lovingly, how I had decided to take those reins back from Him and drive that buggy. I was in control of the very train that was wrecking my life. Comparison stole my joy, and the devil laughed at his accomplishment. The beauty of all of that though? God never left me. He never quit on me. He stood with me when I realized with utter embarrassment that I had allowed myself to become another pawn for the devil to undermine all of His work.

 

And that was when I lost control, giving it all over to Him. The weight of the world I was carrying left my shoulders in an instant and I could breathe deeper. Now I'm no fool and I know those temptations to regain control will creep back in (and it's already happening), but I also know my God is stronger than that. He will have His way with me, and my life, however He sees fit for His glory.

 

I've lost control. And I don't want it back.

Home {SWEET} Home

Hunter and I realized the other day that we've been in our new (to us) home for about 6 months now and we just couldn't help but thank God for His timing and mercies. Our home is small, quaint, but full of so much love. I couldn't imagine being anywhere else than where we are now.

 

The mornings are my most favorite time to watch the woods around us come to life. The fresh morning dew across the pasture, how the sunlight filtrates itself through the pine trees, and the birds chirping as loudly as they can. It kind of gives me a glimpse into what heaven will be like. I love the stillness that surrounds our home, the escape it provides to us after a long day.

We've always thrived on making our home available to any and all who need a place to come and rest. Whether it's to rest in the friendship we have over a good meal, or to literally rest in our guest room for a weekend - we just want to be available to whoever may need a place to just be.

The irony doesn't pass me that our home has become a sanctuary these last several weeks. We've had some joyous moments where celebrations were had and memories were made but we've also shed several tears in the last several weeks in our home. Through it all, God has stood by us, wrapped His arms around us, and held us close. God is reminding us each day of His goodness, His faithfulness, His love no matter what the circumstances may be.

In this home, our knees have hit the ground as we cry out in prayer. In this home, the floor has been danced on as we karaoke'd in the kitchen. In this home, we've loved deeply and disagreed lovingly over things in life. In this home, our marriage has endured some of the hardest days and some of our best days.

In this home, God has been glorified.

Disciple NOW 2017 - {RENEW}

photo courtesy of fb

 

Goodness. Have you ever walked away from a weekend with your body so amazingly tired, but your spirit so full of life?? We spent this past weekend with several teenagers, adults, staffers, God-loving folks through our Disciple Now event that was held at our church. And it was EPIC.

 

For those who don't know, Hunter and I absolutely love teenagers. I know, weird. But we do and we love that God has called us to that ministry to be able to love on them, do life with them, and hopefully pass on some valuable life lessons. It's easy for folks to disregard teenagers as the "problem with our society" but I can honestly tell you from years of being around teenagers (and being one myself at one time), they are not the problem. Teenagers go through so many hormones, emotions, feelings, things... It's crazy.

 

Anywho, the weekend's focus was RENEWing your heart, mind, soul, strength and to surrender everything to God for His glory. There were so many Gospel-driven points discussed throughout the weekend but the one thing that stood out to me the most and I want to share with this bloggity blog was this:

 

This life is NOT about you. PERIOD.

 

I'm guilty of forgetting why I'm here day in and day out because let's be honest, life gets BUSY. Life gets hard sometimes and there are days where I'm like, "Let me just get through this day." But that's not how we should look at each day. I really would have to do several posts about all that was talked about this past weekend but I want to leave you with this.... Where is your heart with God right now? Is it even with God?

 

If you have any questions or need prayers, please don't hesitate to contact me. I'm one of those awkward people that will grab you and pray with you in the midst of everything going on around you.